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Stockholm Syndrome and its Effects on Trauma Survivorsby Kathleen SullivanStockholm Syndrome is a marvelous coping mechanism utilized subconsciously by many victims of humanly perpetrated traumas. The victims range from child victims of physical, mental and sexual abuse to victims of ritual abuse and mind control to battered spouses and partners to hostages of political terrorists. Stockholm Syndrome is a unique mental/emotional tool used by many victims to stay alive, stay sane, and sometimes avoid being physically harmed. Once the trauma has ended, Stockholming can transform from a coping skill to a maladaptive behavior. When this happens, the former victim may seem unable to stop focusing on the perpetrator(s). Some survivors have great difficulty finding and expressing their suppressed anger, and may go to great lengths to deny or minimize what was done to them. Some are unable to go on with their lives. This web page includes relevant information about the phenomenon of Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D.), formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder (M.P.D.). It shows several ways in which some trauma victims develop altered states of consciousness that compartmentalize their experiences with the perpetrators and embody their perceptions of the perpetrators' belief systems, lifestyles, and personalities. When and
how was it given its name? What
is Stockholm Syndrome? How does
it develop? What are its effects?
Publications
When and How was Stockholm Syndrome given its name?Stockholm, Sweden: In the mid 1970's, a lone gunman was trapped in a bank after a failed robbery attempt. He ordered four hostages, one man and three women, to go into the bank vault with him. For nearly a week, they were his captives. They had to relieve themselves in waste receptacles. He repeatedly terrorized them and convinced them that he would kill them if the police tried to break into the vault. The police finally attempted to free the hostages. Instead of welcoming their rescuers, the four hostages bodily shielded the gunman from the police. Later, one of the women announced that she had fallen in love with him and planned to marry him after the completion of his prison sentence. Most of the world was surprised by the former captives' odd responses towards the man who had kept them hostage and had repeatedly threatened to kill them. Their responses were dubbed Stockholm Syndrome by the mainstream media.
What is Stockholm Syndrome?Stockholm Syndrome is a mental and emotional coping mechanism that seems to be inherent in the human psyche. It is a way of forgetting, or dissociating from, one's own pain and feelings of terror, anger, and helplessness by focusing on the face, voice, odor, mannerisms, etc. of the abuser or captor. Stockholm Syndrome is subconsciously used by many victims to deal with dangerous individuals by mimicking them unconsciously, thereby enlisting their protection and kindness. By expressing sympathy towards the aggressor, the victim can sometimes avoid harm or death at the aggressor's hands. Stockholm Syndrome isn't new. It occurs all over the world each day and probably has, for as long as humankind has existed. It exists in many homes where battering and child abuse takes place; in prisoner-of-war and kidnapping situations; and in many other situations where humans are being victimized and terrorized by others who are often bigger, stronger, and more aggressive and violent.
How does Stockholm Syndrome develop? One of the primary steps in developing Stockholm Syndrome is to dissociate from one's own pain and feelings of terror, helplessness and fear by subconsciously perceiving one's environment through the eyes and mind of the abuser. This mental process is part of a dynamic known as identification with the aggressor. The captive or victim imagines seeing the current situation through the abuser's eyes and mind while learning how to please and appease the aggressor, to keep from being hurt or worse. This tactic doesn't work forever, but it sometimes can be used to manipulate the aggressor into taking a less dangerous stance -- for a while. In battering situations in the home, in-between times of normalcy are crucial for the Stockholm Syndrome to develop. If a victim of domestic battering is continuously harmed and/or threatened with harm, the victim may develop a conscious hatred towards the abuser and may become angry enough to choose to leave, if possible. On the other hand, if the victim experiences times of normalcy and even pleasure with the abuser, the victim may become confused and will be more likely to stay in the harmful relationship. This also can take place in other captor/captive, abuser/victim situations. Anyone who works with survivors of humanly perpetrated trauma learns quickly that there is no black and white attitude, for very long, in survivors towards their former abusers. Confusion is the norm. As with battering victims who become lulled into a sense of false safety because of the intermittent periods of normalcy, other victims -- including victims of sexual assault -- can also become confused. After all, they know or will realize (if they have been with the perpetrator for any length of time) that the perpetrator is also human, is probably emotionally wounded, and therefore cannot be all bad. Sometimes perpetrators go out of their way to share personal information with their victims and emotionally (and even sexually) bond with them, encouraging the victims to pity them instead of feeling righteous anger towards them. Having bonded emotionally with former abusers leaves the survivors with conflicting feelings (such as anger and pity) and can generate illogical concern for the perpetrators' needs, while the survivors neglect and ignore their own financial, physical, and emotional needs. Again, this is because the former victims are still Stockholming -- dissociating from their own painful feelings and memories by continuing to focus on their former abusers' activities and lives. Bottom line: Stockholm Syndrome is a coping mechanism, a dissociative device that helps to keep a victim sane and safe -- if possible -- in a dangerous and overwhelming situation. It is a sane coping mechanism that works in an insane situation. But once the danger is over, the Syndrome becomes maladaptive, and the survivor must relearn how to not dissociate from his/her emotions and discomfort and to not focus on the former abuser/captor. Sometimes this is a very difficult adjustment for a trauma survivor to make.
What are some of the effects of Stockholm Syndrome?Former hostages and other survivors of humanly perpetrated traumas sometimes act in unusual ways due to the influence of Stockholm Syndrome, even years after the traumas have ended. This is not at all uncommon. Denial is one classic indicator of Stockholm Syndrome. By continuing to excessively focus on the needs and activities of the former captor/abuser, who may deliberately change his/her behaviors around others to feign innocence, the former victim may become confused and may wonder if the traumas even occurred. Dissociating by focusing on the abuser/captor may be necessary while the victim is in danger. In part, this dissociative process helps to block out the victim's fear and sense of inescapable danger, so that he or she can respond calmly, in ways that do not upset the perpetrator(s). Sometimes after the trauma is over, the survivor will need time to begin to reconnect with suppressed emotions that were simply too unsafe to feel and express during the dangerous situation. Minimizing is another common trait. A survivor may decide that what the perpetrator did wasn't really that bad ("I'm blowing it all out of proportion"). Minimizing can be especially dangerous for a survivor, because by not facing the seriousness of the danger he or she was in while with the perpetrator, the survivor may feel more tempted to go back to the perpetrator or to not be totally forthcoming in court when testifying about what the perpetrator did. If the survivor protects the perpetrator by minimizing the abuse, the survivor may remain the victim. If the survivor was abused or held captive for a long period of time, he/she may feel that being free and not being controlled by another person is too difficult to do. Having a human controller to decide what the survivor should do, think, believe, and say after his or her mind was shut down for so long can be preferable. By looking to others to control his/her mind and life, the survivor might not want to relearn how to take responsibility for his/her newer actions and decisions. Unfortunately, some survivors will gravitate towards controlling individuals and groups (e.g., religious cults and even controlling "recovery" groups) that will continue the pattern of enabling the survivors to not take responsibility for their actions and choices. Choosing to continue to be controlled by others only postpones the day when these survivors will need to learn how to make their own life choices and decisions, and take personal responsibility for the consequences of their actions. Only then will they truly experience personal freedom. If the survivor was isolated from society while being abused or kept in captivity, the survivor may need time to catch up on changes that took place in the outside world during the period of isolation. Even if the survivor wasn't physically isolated from society, the survivor may have been so focused on the perpetrator that the survivor blocked out everything else for that period of time. The survivor may need to develop new friendships and a new support network (if he/she ever had one). Some perpetrators work hard to disconnect their victims from neighbors, family, etc. to keep the victims from being able to get help and break the perpetrators' control. Some families grow tired of trying to help a loved one break free. Some studies claim that the majority of battered wives leave their abusers an average of five times, going back to the abusers again and again before they finally leave for good -- if they are still alive. Most survivors of humanly perpetrated trauma were encouraged -- by the perpetrators -- to internalize guilt that belonged to the perpetrators. This is called borrowed shame. Part of the healing process is to give the shame back to the perpetrators. This activity can be done by writing unsent letters to perpetrators, by lucid dream work, Gestalt work, and in many other creative ways. For many trauma survivors, one of the biggest roadblocks to building a new life is their overwhelming fear of the perpetrators. Some of this fear is legitimate -- some perpetrators are so fixated on controlling their victims that they will go after them again and again, ignoring court orders for protection. Some survivors may need to relocate before they can begin new lives. Some survivors are able to confront their former abusers -- again, this can be done through symbolism, unsent letters, and so on. The confrontation doesn't have to be literal. By visualizing themselves confronting their former abusers, some of these survivors begin to feel their pent-up rage for the first time. Rage is a powerful force, if used for good. It can empower and can be a propelling force that energizes the survivor as he/she works towards building a safer new life. Some survivors find that they have taken on the criminal mentality of their former captors/abusers. They gradually found ways to justify their abusers' actions and belief systems. This especially happens with child victims. Some of these survivors will need therapy to mentally deprogram and reconnect with their consciences, some for the first time in their lives. Many survivors find that after they have been free for a while, they feel tremendous amounts of rage that they simply were not safe to express while they were in danger. They will need help and support to find safe and healthy ways to express the rage. Unfortunately, some victims end up becoming victimizers. You know the old story: a man comes home from work after being chewed out by his boss. He yells at his wife, who takes her frustration out on their child, who kicks the dog. A batterer, however, may do much more than yell. He or she may come home and be sadistic and controlling, and may physically assault or rape the partner or children. When the partner is assaulted, he/she will develop rage towards the abuser, but usually won't feel safe enough to fight back. The victimized partner may then emotionally, verbally, or physically abuse the children or pets. Many of these victims, once they become survivors, will need to learn how to express their anger in healthy, non-abusive ways. Survivors may have unconscious triggers. These triggers can be verbal, audible, visual, tactile, and more. Triggers can involve scent or touch. If an abuser wore a certain type of shaving lotion or perfume, the survivor might flashback when he or she smells that same scent on an innocent person. Calendar anniversaries can be difficult times for survivors -- sometimes, the birthdays or wedding anniversaries they shared with their abusers can be days that they need extra support to get through. Many survivors of humanly perpetrated traumas are unable to bond with other humans because of the mental, emotional, and/or physical damage done to them by their former abusers. Some are afraid they will be betrayed and hurt, again. Risking connecting with people who are mentally healthy and caring can be a very powerful and healing experience. Other survivors end up with just about no boundaries at all. Some of them can't seem to stop talking about things that are inappropriate in certain social settings. They may still be in a mental/emotional victim mode since they were not allowed to keep personal boundaries in the presence of their abusers. Some survivors who were sexually assaulted numerous times, especially as children, may have become addicted to sex and may do activities that are sexually inappropriate or even sexually abusive. Unconscious or conscious reenactments of the original traumas are not uncommon. Each situation is unique and each survivor needs to be respected for what he/she has endured. However, survivors must be taught that regardless of their traumas, as members of society they are responsible for respecting the rights and boundaries of others. If they were never taught how to do so -- some were raised and isolated by multiple perpetrators -- they may need role models and mentors to teach them how to interact appropriately and set healthy personal boundaries. Adult survivors who were abused by their parents may need to grieve giving up the mental image of the fantasy parents that is paired with memories of good experiences they had with them. Usually, only after these survivors are willing to look behind the good memories can they acknowledge and work through the betrayal trauma and other abuses perpetrated by their parents. For whatever reasons, some of these adult survivors are unable to go through this part of the recovery process. Even after some of them remember having been abused by their parents, they may prefer to cling tightly to the good memories and re-repress the painful ones. Some of them recant, deny that they were ever harmed, and even go back to their abusers to perhaps be harmed again once the honeymoon period is over. Some of them are then encouraged by the true abusers to sue their therapists for "implanting false memories" of the abuse in their minds. Some trauma survivors who developed Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D.) as children have altered states of consciousness that are based on the victims' perceptions of the abusers'/captors' personalities, behaviors, and belief systems. Some mental health professionals and some abuse survivors make the mistake of thinking that survivors with D.I.D. somehow magically or spiritually internalized the spiritual or "demonic" identities of their abusers (A.K.A. interjects). Some professionals claim that these supposedly non-human entities residing in their clients' bodies must therefore be formally exorcised. This belief can be very damaging to the minds of survivors. In reality, by focusing on his/her tormentor, the victim dissociates from his/her pain and feelings of terror, anger and helplessness. The victim goes into a literal trance state while visually fixating on the perpetrator. If the victim is prone to dissociating to the point of creating altered states of consciousness (formerly known as "personalities"), the altered state of consciousness will encapsulate exactly what the victim is fixating on -- the perpetrator -- along with the actual trauma. Sometimes several of these alter-states or personality fragments will be created during a single trauma. Children who develop D.I.D. (starting around ages 1/1-2 to 3) do this quite often. They do not literally internalize the perpetrator's essence. Instead, they internalize the perceived attributes of their abusers, what the abusers choose to present themselves as during the trauma. The victims amnesically split off part of their brain's functioning, and that tiny section, or sections, of the brain then compartmentalize the trauma that the children experience, including the perceived personas of the abusers that the children fixate on to survive and stay sane. This is why, sometimes, clients with D.I.D. will be sharing information in therapy about a remembered trauma, and then a perpetrator alter-state will emerge that mimics the real perpetrators' abusive behaviors, vocal inflections, facial expressions, vocabulary, attitudes, and more. These clients are unconsciously reenacting their perceptions about the abusers that they unconsciously internalized during the trauma. Unfortunately, some perpetrator alter-states in survivors with D.I.D. develop a life that continues beyond the original trauma. Some of these perpetrator alter-states torment the victims by talking to them in their minds. (No, this is not schizophrenia. In fact, some survivors even have audible flashbacks of traumas that sound like they are external instead of "in their heads.") Some perpetrator alter-states, when they take control of the body, will reenact the trauma by hurting the victim's body, not realizing the body also belongs to the perpetrator alter-state! In many of these situations, the perpetrator alter-state will harm the body, then trance out and go under. Another part, often the host alter-state, will then emerge and be left to cope with the physical pain and damage. Through this process, the victim may unconsciously reenact abuse that the true perpetrator(s) originally did to his or her body. Some perpetrator alter-states are mentally, physically and emotionally programmed. Some of them are conditioned and programmed to commit suicide if they emerge and take control of the body. This is a real danger and cause for legitimate concern. Suicide programming is created and mentally installed by male and female perpetrators who have adopted a form of W.W.II Nazi mind control programming developed in the concentration camps. This despicable technology was smuggled into the US via highly coveted Nazi war criminals, by the CIA/OSS and US Army. Some disconnected perpetrator alter-states are outwardly abusive towards partners, children, pets and others. Usually when this happens, you'll notice that the host or regularly presenting parts of the fragmented personality are the opposite: caring and non-abusive. Does that mean that the victim's perpetrator alter-states are bad or evil or demonic? Absolutely not. These fragments of the original whole personality simply need to integrate with the rest of the fragmented personality and develop healthier ways of expressing the anger, pain, and fear (particularly of death and abandonment) that the survivor simply was not safe to feel and express during the original traumas. Hopefully, the survivor will begin to realize that he/she was lied to, betrayed, and selfishly harmed by the perpetrator(s). Once that happens, the internalized perpetrator(s) will begin to morph and become one with -- by integrating with -- the rest of the survivor. (Literally, this means that the alter-states stored in different parts of the survivor's brain knit together and share information as the survivor's neuron paths connect and relay information back and forth, sometimes for the first time. This is a marvelous and exciting natural process.) If this healing process continues, the survivor will gradually understand and accept that the perpetrator alter-state or persecutor alter-state was really a personality fragment that was unconsciously created to protect the survivor from overwhelming emotions and perhaps physical pain, during the original traumas.
Publications
The Batterer: A Psychological Profile by
Donald G. Dutton, Ph.D. and Susan K. Golant Betrayal
Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse by
Jennifer J. Freyd, Ph.D Bradshaw on:
The Family (A New Way of Creating Solid Self-Esteem) by
John Bradshaw Bradshaw on:
Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw Captivity &
The Stockholm Syndrome by Sara Lambert Domestic Violence by Margi
Laird McCue Every Secret Thing by Patricia
Campbell Hearst and Alvin Moscow The Gift of
Fear: Survival Signals that Protect Us from Violence by
Gavin DeBecker Hostage Cop: the story of
the New York City Police Hostage Negotiating Team and the man who leads it
by Frank Bolz and Edward Hershey I Can't Get
Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors. by
Aphrodite Matsakis, Ph.D Journey Into
Madness: The True Story of Secret CIA Mind Control and Medical Abuse by
Gordon Thomas. On
Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society by
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman Pure Cop: Cop
Talk from the Street to the Specialized Units - Bomb Squad, Arson, Hostage
Negotiation, Prostitution, Major Accidents, Crime Scene by Connie Fletcher Ritual Abuse:
what it is, why it happens, how to help by Margaret
Smith Sadistic
Abuse: Definition, Recognition, and Treatment by
Jean M. Goodwin, M.D., M.P.H. Safe Passage to
Healing - A Guide for Survivors of Ritual Abuse by
Chrystine Oksana Secret, Don't
Tell: The Encyclopedia of Hypnotism by Carla
Emery Trauma and
Recovery: The aftermath of violence - from domestic abuse to political
terror by Judith L. Herman, M.D. What is Battered Woman's Syndrome?
Women At Risk: Domestic Violence And Women's Health by
Evan Stark, Ph.D., MSW and Anne Flitcraft, MD.
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